Being a Stay at Home Mom and Wife…Why?

mother and daughter on grass

Being a Stay at Home Mom and Wife…WHY?

I often times get asked why I am a stay-at-home mom and wife.

People often assume it’s because we cannot afford daycare or that we don’t have a degree to get a good-paying job.

Why does it seem socially acceptable to degrade a stay-at-home mother and wife?

Would it still seem okay if someone asked a working mother and wife how they are able to just leave their child and go to work?

I know someone would take that question as rude.

But as stay-at-home wives and moms, we just smile and say this is what we wanted and the other person just stands there looking back in disbelief.

Then the follow-up questions and comments come out like a waterfall…

  • What do you mean this is what you wanted?
  • How can you be okay with your husband being the sole provider?
  • What do you do when you need money?
  • Your kids need a break from you.
  • You are going to lose yourself.
  • You don’t have anything to show for yourself.
  • Don’t you feel like you have wasted your life?

I hate when they follow up with their thoughts.

So let me spell this out for you…

My husband and I decided before we had kids that I would be a stay-at-home wife and mother. I have always wanted this for myself and our family.

When I had my first baby I was fired from my job when I was three months along. I couldn’t find another job because I would be off work soon to have the baby. So at that time, we decided it would be best to give my car back to the bank and only have one vehicle for the time being to make us more comfortable financially.

I was 34 weeks when our son decided It was time to come into this world. He had a one-week NICU stay and at that moment we both knew that staying home was the only option. Neither of us trusted sending him to daycare nor did we even want to. I wanted to be a present mother and wife. We bought a house later that year and moved. Shortly after moving, we found out we were pregnant with our second baby. And I had found a good routine that worked for everyone and being the stay-at-home wife and mom got so much easier. After our daughter turned two we found out we were pregnant with our third and I still have no thoughts about returning to work. WE are the ones who decided to have kids. It is our privilege and job to raise them and be present in their lives every day.

and to answer those follow-up comments and questions…

  • I always knew I wanted to be the one in my kids’ lives and able to attend to everything they wanted me to. So yes this is what I wanted!
  • I am not just okay with my husband being our sole provider. He is as well and I am very grateful for everything he does to provide for our family. He is an amazing father and husband.
  • My husband works so we have money and he makes it known that his money is our money. I don’t understand why that is such a hard concept to grasp.
  • My kids do get a break from me at times but that doesn’t mean I cannot be a stay-at-home wife and mother and still give them a break from me.
  • I do get a break from my kids. It’s called nap time/rest time.
  • I do have something to show for myself! I have these amazing humans that I raised and they are my everything. I also have a husband that loves and supports me in anything.
  • No, I have not wasted my life. I am fulfilling what God put me here to do. I am a wife and a mother. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

So to any mother and wife that is constantly being asked the same questions or feel like they are being put down because of their choice. Don’t think twice about it. Do what is best for you. If you feel working is what you need to do for you then do that. If you feel staying home is for you then do that. I can’t say this enough. We only get to live once do what makes us happy and forget about the rest. Life is way too short to dwell on anything that makes you unhappy.

xoxo ~the stay at home wife and mama

With the way, the world is going Check out my 10 Reasons to Start Homeschooling today HERE!

Also, Look at my post about changing the TOXIC in your life HERE!

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